A lot is going on in my life but over the past week two weeks, I have been down. Really down. Like I’ve had takeout 5 nights in a row last week. I have stopped my self-development and self-care routine, my gym routine and all things self-improvement.
I have been very busy:
- I passed my fitness instructor midterm which involved me teaching my class a dance cardio routine. It was nerve wracking but my dance was great and you can’t go wrong with Pitbull…. DALE!
- Work has been STRESSFUL. We had to fire my medical secretary because he was not detailed oriented and just wasn’t a good match for the work. It has been weeks of write-ups, verbal warnings and corrections, awkward conversations, retraining him on basics then being irritated and towards the end waiting for the ax to drop. I’ve come to the conclusion that being a manager is not for me but now I have to step up. I’m actually OK with doing his job, if I’m getting paid more but last time I asked for more last year I was turned down. It was the exact same situation but the last secretary quit. I just don’t have the mental energy to hire and train someone now because of the third “stressor”…
- This biostatistics class that I’ve been not really trying at. I’d rather work on my dance routines which is what I’ve been doing to the detriment of my weekly homework assignments. I’ve FINALLY started to open the books and study and I have a midterm this week.
But all of the things I mentioned, which are really blessings of opportunity, isn’t why I’ve been eating donuts, Indian takeout and drinking a lot. My 34th birthday is Tuesday. It’s my yearly reminder to reevaluate my life to see what I don’t have yet and compare it to others. But instead of continuing this downward spiral, I’m stopping it now. No, I’m not exactly where I want to be BUT since last October I have:
- lost 34 lbs
- moved into my own apartment
- survived the death of a cat and sickness of another
- became a vegan
- cut down on excessive drinking
- applied and got accepted into a fitness instructor training program
- am finishing my last class in a public health certificate program
- am actively working on a personal development plan to get better
I am not perfect, I will never be, but there is nothing wrong with me and the progress that I’ve made so far in my life. Everything that I want: love, marriage and baby carriage: will come in due time. I just need to stay happy, positive and keep working on myself and getting better. Keep an attitude of gratitude no matter what. And always say yes to invitations because you never know who you will meet!