Forgiveness

Sorry I’ve been missing. I’ve been feeling a little out of it and not at peace. I’ve always had issues with looking ahead into the future, seeing what is possible but not the path and getting discouraged. I end up turning to old habits, such as eating takeout daily, drinking too much and watching lots of TV. For some people, that might not seem like such a bad thing, but I know that I could do so much more if I actually tried and didn’t get discouraged so easily. It also makes it so I’m not happy in the moment. Always waiting to be happy in the future, which isn’t even promised. I’m currently working on correcting those bad habits and working on my mindset, which is a daily process.

Even though my eating hasn’t been ideal, I have continued to work out and do Crossfit, although I am the only person gaining weight while doing it, it’s because of my diet. I really love to exercise and see the progress that I’m making on that front. I’m also still teaching my fitness class on Saturdays, however I can’t be a good example for my students if I’m gaining weight and not living a healthy lifestyle. One of my missions in life is to help people lose weight, so I will be Subject #1.

Forgiveness – It’s not easy to forgive but they say it’s the most important step in moving forward so I am extending that to myself.

  • I forgive myself for not treating my body in the best way possible and for being so hard on my appearance.
  • I forgive myself for simultaneously having an ideal of perfection yet making so many active attempts to fail, causing a constant state of body dissatisfaction.
  • I forgive myself for criticising every aspect of myself making it difficult to ever be at peace.
  • I forgive myself for sabotaging relationships and friendships for fear that people would leave me or that their feelings weren’t sincere
  • I forgive myself for not knowing how to maintain healthy relationships.
  • I forgive myself for not opening up more to people for fear of retaliation or dismissal of feelings.
  • I forgive myself for putting my cat Elf through months of chemo making the last months of his life painful and scary (I started crying when I wrote that one so I think I have a lot of guilt with that one).
  • I forgive myself for drinking and eating in excess.
  • I forgive myself for not really trying to find my calling when I was younger and working on jobs that were not for me.

I forgive myself and will continue to work on it everyday. Just like if you were cheated on, it will take daily effort to truly get past it.  I need to start listening to my mind and body in order to see what I’ve been covering up with the excess food and drink.

Quote of the day –  “Create an inner harmony where your loving soul guides your physical behavior, rather than having your soul always come in second place” – Wayne Dyer

Next week’s goal is to focus on mindful eating. Asking myself before I eat 1) Am I hungry? 2) Will this food bring me towards or away from my goal? Try to accept my answer with no judgements and enjoy the food, whatever it may be.

Community Question – What are your goals for next week? Do you need to work on forgiving yourself for something?

 

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Crossfit

I gained some weight over the holidays due to excessive eating and drinking. I went back to eating better but the weight wasn’t falling like it was before. At 5’3 I have found that the best way for me to lose weight consistently is to exercise but I couldn’t find the motivation to do it. I was instagram and came across this ad for a 6 week crossfit challenge at a gym that was close to my job. So I signed up.

I wanted to be somewhere for 6 weeks in order to get back into the exercise schedule. Even though I want to lose weight, I lack discipline and I often make excuses so this felt like a good solution. And boy was it a solution. Crossfit is the hardest and most challenging thing I’ve ever encountered in regards to exercise. Has anyone tried it? They focus on functional exercises where you are lifting your body weight, kettlebells and barbells. It’s tough. Mondays workout involved 4 rounds of running 400 km, 10 deadlifts and burpees until time. And it was 30 degrees outside. Studies show that the more muscle you have, the more calories you burn at rest. But all the muscle in the world can’t counter a bad diet. I like crossfit because of the community aspect. I already made a friend and everyone that is a newbie like me is always in shock of the next f*ed up thing they are going to have us do. My goal is to make 1-2 more friends and exchange numbers.

After this challenge is done I think I might actually buy some classes from this gym. I like being challenged and I need to lose more weight. I’m going to set up an appointment to see a nutritionist again because if I’m going to be exercising, I want to make sure that I’m eating as clean as possible and getting proper nutrients on this plant based meal plan. I know that I will lose weight quickly if I:

  • exercise consistently
  • drink 8+cups of water per day
  • sleep 7+hours per night
  • limit processed foods and sugar
  • cut off alcohol

If I plan on reaching my goal weight in 6 months, I need to follow these steps. I plan to do a post on discipline in the near future. A lot of the advice is usually “just do it”, use the 5 second rule, or live like the person that you want to be.

 

Exercise, Inspiration and Excuses

 

My exercise plan is currently all over the place. I try to be semi-consistent, but it is difficult with work and my varying energy levels. I am the type of person that if I wake up and second guess for ANY reason, I cancel. If I have a flashing thought of “What if I sleep in today and watch Criminal Minds and eat cereal instead?”, that is all takes for my plans to derail. I use that as an excuse and I’ve missed many exercise classes and gym sessions . What helps me a lot is listening to motivational videos on YouTube or podcasts such as The Quote of the Day Show.  The best YouTube videos are the compilations of various speakers and I will admit I listen to a Les Brown morning motivation mix pretty much every morning. I posted some of my favorite videos below. I also have some issues with anxiety and I have been treating myself following the rules of Nike… JUST DO IT. Mel Robbins’  5 Second Rule has helped me leave the house when I didn’t want to leave, such as my first day of my exercise instructor training class. I didn’t actually read the book, but I heard her discuss it on The QOTD podcast. It is pretty much a 5 second countdown to get you to do any flipping thing. It’s funny that I want to be an exercise instructor and have anxiety but I know that after my first class, or my first incorrect cue I will be OK. You just have to be OK with laughing at yourself.

Speaking of being a teacher, it requires more stamina than just taking a class because you have to talk while you exercise! Like Beyonce, JLO or Gaga, singing and dancing at the same time requires A LOT of stamina, so I need to up my cardio. My plan is to do 45 minutes of the cardio machine during lunch 4/5  week days with one 60+ minute cardio session on the weekend. I need to do 2 dance classes per week because that is the type of class that I want to do and I want to learn moves, cues and jargon. I plan to do one additional strength class, in addition to my instruction training which should have quite a bit of strength. I will need to increase my food intake if I start losing weight too quickly. 

What about you? Is it easy to talk yourself out a gym session as well or are you the type of person that once it’s on the schedule, it’s getting done?

LINKS

Les Brown’s 15 Minute Morning Motivational Speech

When You Are About To Give Up

What Are You Becoming

RETRAIN YOUR MIND

The Quote of the Day Show

The Princess Bride Motivation?

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This magazine clip is from the October Women’s Health Magazine and they mentioned that it’s the 30 year anniversary of the Princess Bride! OMG!! I’m definitely going to find it in a theater near me. A young Cary Elwes anyone?? The editor’s letter was about how things are only inconceivable because you have never done it before. You just have to take the first step without overthinking it, and without letting the inconceivability of the idea stop you. Just begin. Go for the walk if you want to lose weight or throw out the unhealthy food. If you want to write a book or start researching a topic. Write the blog or sign up for the class. On a smaller scale… call that friend that’s been on your mind or make that doctor’s appointment that you’ve been putting off. Just do it!

Just some motivation before the weekend begins.