Sorry I’ve been missing. I’ve been feeling a little out of it and not at peace. I’ve always had issues with looking ahead into the future, seeing what is possible but not the path and getting discouraged. I end up turning to old habits, such as eating takeout daily, drinking too much and watching lots of TV. For some people, that might not seem like such a bad thing, but I know that I could do so much more if I actually tried and didn’t get discouraged so easily. It also makes it so I’m not happy in the moment. Always waiting to be happy in the future, which isn’t even promised. I’m currently working on correcting those bad habits and working on my mindset, which is a daily process.
Even though my eating hasn’t been ideal, I have continued to work out and do Crossfit, although I am the only person gaining weight while doing it, it’s because of my diet. I really love to exercise and see the progress that I’m making on that front. I’m also still teaching my fitness class on Saturdays, however I can’t be a good example for my students if I’m gaining weight and not living a healthy lifestyle. One of my missions in life is to help people lose weight, so I will be Subject #1.
Forgiveness – It’s not easy to forgive but they say it’s the most important step in moving forward so I am extending that to myself.
- I forgive myself for not treating my body in the best way possible and for being so hard on my appearance.
- I forgive myself for simultaneously having an ideal of perfection yet making so many active attempts to fail, causing a constant state of body dissatisfaction.
- I forgive myself for criticising every aspect of myself making it difficult to ever be at peace.
- I forgive myself for sabotaging relationships and friendships for fear that people would leave me or that their feelings weren’t sincere
- I forgive myself for not knowing how to maintain healthy relationships.
- I forgive myself for not opening up more to people for fear of retaliation or dismissal of feelings.
- I forgive myself for putting my cat Elf through months of chemo making the last months of his life painful and scary (I started crying when I wrote that one so I think I have a lot of guilt with that one).
- I forgive myself for drinking and eating in excess.
- I forgive myself for not really trying to find my calling when I was younger and working on jobs that were not for me.
I forgive myself and will continue to work on it everyday. Just like if you were cheated on, it will take daily effort to truly get past it. I need to start listening to my mind and body in order to see what I’ve been covering up with the excess food and drink.
Quote of the day – “Create an inner harmony where your loving soul guides your physical behavior, rather than having your soul always come in second place” – Wayne Dyer
Next week’s goal is to focus on mindful eating. Asking myself before I eat 1) Am I hungry? 2) Will this food bring me towards or away from my goal? Try to accept my answer with no judgements and enjoy the food, whatever it may be.
Community Question – What are your goals for next week? Do you need to work on forgiving yourself for something?